I was reading the news online this morning and I found an article about a 25 year old guy from Clear Lake that was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the death of his girlfriend’s 16 month old son. I was outraged! How could someone smother an innocent little baby? How could a grown man be brought to such depravity to bring death to a baby…someone completely dependent on the one caring for him, completely innocent, totally defenseless. What “kind” of man does that? What “kind” of monster is he?
And then I saw his name: Dennis James Angell. Yes, monster has a name.
And then his picture popped up:
I saw what looked to me like sadness in his eyes. I imagined him as a young child, perhaps a time when those big brown eyes sparkled with laughter and joy. I thought about his parents, especially his mother. Where was she? What influence did/does she have on his life? And where is his father? Does he have a father in his life?
And I suddenly felt Jesus’ gentle tug on my heart. I heard Him declare: “This too is my son. I love him. My heart grieves for the poor choices he’s made. My desire is for him to ‘turn from his wicked ways’ and come unto me.”
My outrage turned to compassion. I realized that no matter what this man has done and how “undeserving” he is of eternity in heaven, I, too, am unworthy to receive the gift of salvation that God has offered to me. Although I have accepted that gift, I am no more “entitled” to it than this man who has just murdered an innocent child.
Immediately the Holy Spirit “checked” me and showed me the judgment I had made on this young man. I repent. I ask for forgiveness. My heart swells with love for this “man” who I now see as a sad little boy. Hurt. Scared. Perhaps regretful? A love that brings me to my knees and asks the Lord for a way for this “child” to find his way to Him. For intervention. For a godly person to come in to his life and lead him to Jesus. The cross. The “already paid sentence for his crime”. Not because he deserves it, but because God desires it.
Does he “deserve” to go to prison? Yes. I do believe that our justice system serves a purpose. I do believe we must pay restitution for crimes committed. Does he “deserve” to die without an opportunity to spend eternity with the Lord? No. Because that crime has already been PAID IN FULL.
And now I think of three, young, mothers who have lost their sons.
One son a baby.
One son just barely out of his teens.
And one Son a young man in his early 30’s.
Each mother grieving. Each mother feeling the weight of “unfairness” on her young son’s life. Each feeling the tremendous pain of loss.
But only one Mother who has sacrificed her pain for you and I. And Dennis James Angell.
Dear Lord. I thank you for how you’ve moved in my heart today. Thank you for reminding me of how you love us. ALL of us. Thank you placing in me a burning desire to pray for the lost. Thank you for the opportunity to repent for my judgment. Thank you Lord, not just for what you do, but more importantly for who you are. I love you and I praise you, Lord.
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